If someone were to annoy or tease you or, metaphorically, rush you, what would come out of you ? Anger ? Joy ? Rabies ? The metaphor of the orange, posed by the psychologist, teacher and writer Wayne Dyer, helps us understand why it is so important to know what is in us.
Wayne Dyer is known for lecturing in different countries. His success came with the publication of his famous book Your Wrong Zones. The metaphor of the orange appeared in one of his symposia, in Toronto (Canada), and has the distinction of having taken place the day before his death.
His presentation, which is part of the I can do lecture series, surprised everyone : Wayne took an orange on stage to support his explanations.
The dialogue of the metaphor of the orange
“If I Press this orange as hard as I can, what will come out of it ?”asked Dyer. The boy looked at him as if he was crazy and replied : “juice, of course. Dyer replied, “ Do You Think apple juice could come out of it ?”No,” said the little boy, laughing. “And why not grapefruit juice ?” “Non.””What would result ?””Orange juice, of course.”
“Why ? Why, when you squeeze an orange, does orange juice come out of it ?” At this point, the young man may have already been on the verge of despair, but he still said : “it’s an orange, and that’s what’s inside.” Wayne nodded and continued.
“Suppose this orange is not an orange. And it’s you. Imagine that someone presses you, puts pressure on you, tells you something that you do not like, that offends you. Why does it come out ?”
What comes out of you when life is pressing you ?
“If anger, pain or fear comes out, it’s because that’s what’s inside. It does not matter who presses you, your mother, your partner, your children, your boss, your subordinate… if someone says something about you that you do not like, what is in you will come out. And what’s inside is your choice.”
“If nothing comes out of you, except love, it is because you have allowed it. Once you take away all those emotions that consume you (envy, hatred, resentment, revenge…) and replace them with love, you live a very functional life.” “Thank you, my young friend,” Wayne said. “This orange Is For You.”
Orange metaphor and resilience
And what better way to continue the metaphor of orange than with another moral of citrus. I’m sure you’ve already heard the phrase “If life gives you lemons, make lemonade”.
Resilience is a word that comes from latin (resilio, resilire) and means “to bounce back”. Applied to psychology, it refers to the ability of people to overcome adversity and move forward. Therefore, resilient people would be those who manage to make lemonade with the lemons that life offers them: losses, disappointments, breakups…
We used to think that resilience was something we were born with, that it was genetic. However, subsequent research has shown that this ability can be formed. Come again?
For example, by accepting that changes are part of life, trusting each other and taking care of one’s social relationships. You also need to focus on the positive, consider challenges as opportunities, or be flexible and realistic in your goals.
In conclusion, the metaphor of orange and that of lemon come together to make us understand the importance of cultivating our inner self. If we fill it with low-fertile soil, weeds will grow. If, on the other hand, we water it frequently and pamper it, it will be more difficult for harmful elements to move inside us.
Therefore, filling ourselves with toxic thoughts or feelings does us no good. Who suffers from all the envy we feel ? We. On whom does our desire for revenge reverberate ? On us.
We ourselves will suffer the consequences of preserving this type of emotions in us. That is why if, as the expression says, revenge is a dish that is eaten cold cold, and it is usually served to the two protagonists : the one who exercises it and the one who receives it.